


Emotional Entanglements

by aimless38



Category: Bleach
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Time, M/M, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-22
Updated: 2015-07-22
Packaged: 2018-04-10 15:02:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4396424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aimless38/pseuds/aimless38
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Byakuya struggles with his desire for his vice captain.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Desire

I kneel in a submissive posture in front of his desk. My head is bowed and I wait for him to acknowledge my presence.

 

I can’t help sneaking glances at his frowning face as he goes through the stack of paperwork. I stare entranced at the elegant curve of his neck. The paleness of his flawless skin makes me ache and long to touch. His hair is uncharacteristically free from the confines of its usual ornaments and I want to nuzzle that fall of ebon silk.

 

I dream of exploring the expanse of his leanly muscled chest and to trace the sharpness of his collarbone with my tongue. I yearn for him to break free of that calm façade and writhe in passion under my thrusting body. My skin feels flushed and hot as I imagine what him yielding to my embrace would be like.

 

This is torture and I’m not sure how much longer I can endure his silence. His seemingly uncaring indifference. Despair creeps in as the moments crawl slowly past. Almost pushed past my endurance I hear his chair scrape against the wooden floor as he rises to his feet. His robes swirl perfectly around his lithe frame as if daring to wrinkle would be unforgivable.

 

I hold my breath as he steps lightly towards me.

 

“Renji.” His soft voice washes over me making me tremble with desire.

 

I am compelled to look up and am ensnared in his depthless midnight sapphire eyes. They seem to penetrate my very soul. He slowly extends his hand.

 

My eyes widen in understanding and I reach up to grasp his cool fingers. His hand tightens around mine and I am pulled to my feet.

 

“Kuchiki-taichou I’m sorry I…” I fumble to apologize for my discretions during Ichigo’s nearly disastrous sojourn into soul society.

 

It is the first time he has spoken to me since I almost blurted out my feelings in his hospital room. I feel the need to suddenly grovel at his regal feet. To beg forgiveness for challenging his authority.

 

His fingers against my lips halt my babbled attempt for atonement.

 

“Shhh…come with me.” That deep commanding voice makes me shudder. The indifference is gone from his eyes and has been replaced by raw hunger.

 

My breath comes in harsh pants as I struggle with this new understanding. He tugs on our joined hands and I follow.

All intentions of dominating this person flee from my thoughts. I yearn to belong solely to him. I will pay for past discretion with my willing body and complete surrender.


	2. Regret

Crimson hair fanned out over snow white linen. The stillness of the room marred only by the soft breathing of the exhausted man sleeping belly down on the thick futon. His face was turned to the right and tendrils of his hair licked like fire down his sweat sheened back. The starkness of his tattoos stood out from his tanned skin in the dim twilight of the almost painfully bare room.

Using the lightest of touches a pale finger traced the sharp edges of the designs inked into the sleeping man’s back. As if of its own volition the barely there caresses flowed downward and lingered on the swell of the muscular buttocks framed by the gathered sheets. Still glistening with the remnants of the sweet almond oil and the fluid from their passionate lovemaking.

The events of the past several hours had been totally unanticipated yet not unwelcome.

Byakuya desperately needed the control that distancing himself from his vice captain had wrought. A careful balancing of iron willed control and suppression of his own desire. A control that seemed to have fled under the wake of Renji’s uncharacteristic submission.

After his release from the hospital from the injuries that had almost ended his life Byakuya had intended to chastise his Vice Captain. Renji had entered his office with a cocky grin on his face and a swagger in his step. This had angered the Captain of the sixth division so much that he merely glared at his subordinate and gestured for him to kneel. Surprisingly the red haired shinigami complied and an uncomfortable silence reigned.

Several times it seemed that Renji started to speak only to be halted by one elegantly raised brow. Seemingly impassive Byakuya was anything but. As the hours ticked away he became more aware of the man kneeling with his head bowed. Aware of his scent as it permeated the room. Aware of his submissive posture and how it secretly thrilled Byakuya. It was a type of surrender that not even a fight to the death had brought forth from his vice-captain.

It was intoxicating and totally alluring. 

Fists clenched in his lap and shielded by the large desk Byakuya knew his control was slipping. Not a hint of it showed on his coldly impassive face but inside his emotions were being whipped into a frenzy. Finally he was unable to maintain his calm façade any longer. Byakuya rose majestically from his chair and approached his vice-captain.

The raven haired captain reached out a hand to his subordinate. The barely contained lust apparent on his features. The attempted stammered apology from Renji only fanned the flames. It was wrong. Byakuya knew that his vice-captain desired him like so many others. Most tried to dominate the haughtily impassive shinigami and only got rebuked for their efforts. Why he felt the need to breach the gap from colleague to lover was unclear. Perhaps their recent brushes with death turned that chasm of differences into a mere line to be crossed. Byakuya just had to take the first step and extend his hand. It was readily grasped and Renji was pulled to his feet. The slight tremble could be felt and relished. The simply worded invitation was accepted and the red haired shinigami followed his Taichou without a word.

He was led through the Kuchiki complex to the shoji screened entrance of Byakuya’s private quarters. Thankfully the trip to his rooms were absent from the intrusion of his disapproving family. The ones who had all but ostracized his first wife yet were even now urging him to find a suitable bride to bear the next Kuchiki heir. As soon as that thought entered Byakuya’s mind it was gone again. Pushed aside for thoughts more worthy of his consideration. Like divesting his vice-captain of his concealing robes and taking his lips in a dominating kiss.

Renji was roughly pushed against the wall as Byakuya’s hands unfastened his Obi and ran his palms up the red heads firmly muscled torso. Renji tried to touch and was forcefully rebuked. Then he simply let his Captain do what he wished to his flushed and aroused body. There were no protests as Renji was turned and pushed down onto the futon covered sleeping platform. Nor did he voice any hesitation as he was stripped and laid bare to the hot and appraising gaze of his Captain.

Only moaning Byakuya’s name as the dark haired shinigami bit, licked and sucked his way down to the heat radiating from between the red head’s legs. More pleading as his shaft was engulfed. By no means skilled in the art of fellatio Byakuya remembered his wilder days during his youth and for the man groaning his name it was enough. 

Fumbling hands reached for the bottle of sweet smelling oil used to keep his black mane shiny and smooth. Fingers were anointed and Renji arched his back as he was thoroughly prepared. Byakuya’s impassive mask crumbled as he coated himself and sank slowly into the red head’s accommodating heat. He spoke Renji’s name softly over and over as he thrust into his writhing body.

Renji gripped the sheets tightly as he came apart under the skill of his captain. Afraid that if he reached out to touch the shining apparition above him it would fade into a dream of fervent longing. Heat suffused his body and every nerve screamed with pleasure. He’d wanted this for so long and cried out loudly as he was taken to the brink.

Byakuya watched every nuance of his vice-captain’s reactions. He wanted to imprint it upon his memory the vision of Renji’s sweet surrender. His dark cobalt eyes drank in the moment of Renji’s release. Wetness coated his stroking hand as hips rose to meet his timed thrusts. The redhead shuddered in the throes of orgasm and Byakuya knew he was lost. The tide of rising emotion too long denied forced his own unexpected culmination.

He grasped Renji’s hips with bruising fingers as he sank deeply into the clinging warmth one last time. Buried to the hilt his seed coated that spasming passage and Byakuya collapsed gasping for breath into the red head’s waiting arms.  
When the closeness became awkward and Renji tried to speak Byakuya claimed his lips again. He needed the silence with just the slide of damp skin on damp skin to punctuate the moment. Renji was once again taken to the point of overwhelming pleasure. From behind Byakuya thrust into his willing body leaving biting kisses up and down the shinigami’s spine. The redhead’s second coming was as satisfying as the first. Shuddering and moaning as Byakuya, reluctant to leave the embrace of his body, thrust wildly. Sweat damp skin plastered his raven locks to his neck and shoulders as he too found mind numbing completion. 

Renji collapsed and lay gasping as Byakuya mouthed his salt slick neck. He hissed as his Captain bit hard enough to nearly break the skin. A mark Renji would proudly bear to show to everyone to whom he belonged. He moaned as Byakuya slowly pulled out of his body and he missed intimate contact. Lack of sleep and stress coupled with the intensity of their encounter had Renji drifting soundly to sleep. Face down and sprawled on the evidence of his last orgasm.

In the quietness that followed as Byakuya sat on the edge of the futon he wondered if he had just made a ghastly error in judgment. What would he do now? What if Renji wanted to talk? 

Even so he could not resist touching the sleeping and disheveled red head. His family would certainly never approve of him taking another mongrel for a lover. The fact that Renji was male was sure to cause a huge furor. Possibly a heart attack or two as well. 

Byakuya had promised to love his now deceased wife. Why did this feel like a betrayal of her memory? Gentle and loving Hisana did not deserve the hand she had been dealt. The wasting lung ailment that had claimed her life had been devastating to watch. Too weak for intimacies Byakuya had been content to just hold and cherish his ailing spouse. Their love was gentle and soft with a kind of quiet intensity.

Why then did he crave the fiery passion that Aburai Renji had in abundance? It was frightening how much his much vaunted control had slipped. How much of his true self had surfaced during their frantic coupling. Urges long buried since before he’d met his wife. Guilt and panic rose and the need to be away from the enthralling creature in his bed forced him to grab a robe and flee. Out into the tranquil gardens surrounding the Kuchiki estate hoping to find some measure of peace.

Some time later Renji groaned and stretched languidly. The persistent ache in a body well used reminded him that it had not all been a very vivid dream. He reached out felt the space next to him. It was cold and empty. A sinking feeling filled his gut as he whispered.

“Taichou? Byakuya?” But he knew without even lifting his head that his Captain was long gone.


	3. Resolution

The dew soaked grass of the perfectly manicured lawns was cold underfoot. The gardens were still deeply cloaked in shadow as Byakuya made his way through the ornamental landscape. Bird song and a light golden glow on the horizon heralded the coming dawn. The light yukata did nothing to ward off the morning chill but he just could not go back and face the man sleeping in his bed. So hands tucked in the voluminous sleeves Byakuya continued his walk with a troubled brow.

Had it been a mistake to take his passionate vice-captain to his bed? Rarely did he give in to such base desires but Renji was someone that he had watched advance through the ranks with an almost paternal pride. That is until Byakuya picked him to be his second. Renji’s zest for life and his unquenchable desire to please ignited something the dark haired shinigami had thought long dead.

Not even with his wife had he felt such a fierce yearning. Byakuya had loved his wife with a gentle protectiveness. With her he felt strong and needed. She was someone to cherish and treat with the utmost care. Renji awoke all his desires to dominate and conquer. The red haired shinigami would accept no less from a lover. He just did not roll over for anyone despite all the rumors to the contrary. 

Yet there was also a need to protect Renji. To offer him guidance and teach him patience. The things he felt for his vice-captain were certainly different from what he felt with his wife but no less strong. It troubled the dark haired Captain greatly. Could he afford to encourage such intimacy? Or should he just transfer Renji to another division and forget last night had ever happened? 

It would surprise most that Byakuya did have a heart under his cold haughty exterior. That under the calm detached façade lay feelings that he tried hard to suppress. Anger at the upheaval caused by a man he once thought of as a friend. Aizen certainly had fooled them all and his betrayal stung more than a bit. Remorse at the way he’d treated Rukia. His pride had almost resulted in her death. It had taken one orange haired boy to show him the error of his ways. As humiliating as the situation had become Byakuya felt shamed that this new and wildly powerful shinigami had protected his adopted sister. Byakuya should have been the one to fight for her freedom. Not sat impassively by while she had been sentenced to death for misusing her powers. Even Renji had seen that it had been wrong to judge the girl so harshly. 

It had even goaded him to attack his Captain. It had been a thrill to fight Renji and to see first hand how much he had improved. Caught up in the battle Byakuya had realized almost too late that he had gone too far. Perilously close to death Renji had lain there in a pool of his own blood. Wracked with guilt that was not apparent on his face Byakuya had sent for help and even made sure that he was informed that his vice-captain would live.

Finding himself in the same situation after his fight with Ichigo he knew how wrong his judgments had been and what his stubbornness and pride had cost. He was on the verge of losing everything that he gave a damn about. Duty and honor were cold comfort and familial obligations would not replace the love and affection of a sister. Byakuya had gladly taken the sword thrust meant for Rukia even at the risk of his life. Aizen had stolen what he wanted anyway and as Byakuya had crumpled to the ground he wondered if it had all been in vain.

To his amazement he survived. Byakuya had awoken alone in the hospital room. He feared that his sacrifice had come too late and he had been abandoned. It had shocked him when he realized that he was not alone. That his vice-captain sat quietly in a chair by the door watching him. Warmth had replaced that aching cold place within him as he realized Renji did not hate him.

Now everything had changed again.

Could he disappoint his family? Give up his obligations to the Kuchiki name? He had no desire to father a child on a suitable bride picked by his Uncle. There were others that could as easily increase the brood. Even though Byakuya was the acknowledged heir he really had no fear of his title being stripped away. There was simply no one else powerful enough to take up the mantle should he be disinherited.

Seeking inner peace and some manner of a resolution Byakuya followed a meandering path that led to a small lake. Mist rose from the surface creating a lacy veil that would soon dissipate as the sun rose. But for now it gave the terrain an almost surreal quality that fit the Raven haired shinigami’s mood perfectly. His well ordered life had certainly taken some odd turns.

If anyone had the audacity to enter the Kuchiki grounds and walk the garden path they would be quite astounded at Byakuya’s appearance. Barefoot and dressed only in a fern leaf patterned robe he looked unkempt. With his long black hair slightly tangled and stirring in the slight breeze. It fit his current mood of feeling just as unsettled as his attire.

At the water’s edge Koi fish in a rainbow of colors eagerly swam to the surface hoping for a hand out. Hisana had often strolled around the pond and fed the greedy mouths. She had made pets out of and even named the more bold ones. It was yet another thing that Byakuya had not done since the death of his wife. He should be honoring his memories of her and not hiding from life. The sight of the fish brought a smile to his face as he leaned over and trailed his fingers in the water.

The desire to share this simple joy with Renji startled him. It caused a swirl of barely remembered emotions to nearly engulf him. Byakuya abruptly stood and walked away. How was he to deal with this? For so long he had denied his wants and needs. To give into them now seemed like he was giving in to something he could not name. Nor feel comfortable doing so. 

Not paying any attention to where the path led, Byakuya stopped at the base of a large tree. He looked up into its blossom laden branches and let the sweet aroma waft over him. It had been Hisana’s favorite place in the formal gardens. Beneath the spreading branches of this cherry tree they had found a measure of tranquility. It was away from the prying eyes and whispered comments of his kin. They had lain many times on a soft blanket and talked about a future that was unlikely to happen. Byakuya had made love to his wife for the last time in this sweet smelling bower. Before she had become too sick and frail they had shared the joining of body and spirit. 

Even though his encounter with Renji had been wildly different Byakuya had felt the same kind of connection. Guilt made him sink to his knees amidst the drifts of pink petals and bow his head. Would Hisana approve of his actions last night? He did not want his night with Renji to be one long betrayal of promises made and broken. He wished he had someone to talk to. Someone he could unburden his soul to and voice his fears and insecurities.

“What do I do? Hisana I miss you and have every day since you left me. I’m tired of being alone.” Byakuya sighed and knew there would be no small pale hand to stroke his hair. No soft voice to tell him everything would be all right. He had to find the answers himself.

He sat there until the morning light fully illuminated the spreading branches. Riots of birdsong filled the air as petals continued to drift down. Eyes closed and deep in thought Byakuya did not notice footsteps until a hand reached out to touch his lowered head. His eyes snapped open in surprise. He gasped in shock as he saw, haloed by the morning light, a slight figure in a pale blue Kimono.

“Hisana?” Byakuya stammered in confusion. His breath froze in his lungs as the apparition stepped closer.

“Byakuya what are you doing out here? I saw you go past my doorway and out to the gardens. When you didn’t come back I got worried.” The soft voice replied. Alike but also different from his deceased wife.

“Rukia.” Byakuya felt completely foolish at his mistake.

True Rukia’s resemblance to her dead sister was uncanny. But there were differences. The shape of her face and shorter, darker hair. The slightly lower voice and taller body. But since Rukia’s incarceration and injuries she looked almost as pale and wan as her ailing sister had been. Able to admit it to himself now, losing Rukia would have been too painful to bear. Because it would have been his fault for letting her die.

“Are you all right?” Rukia folded her kimono under her knees and sat next to her adopted brother. She placed a hand on his shoulder and was surprised that he did not shrug it off.

“No.” Byakuya simply could not voice his fears even though he desperately wanted to tell someone who cared.

“It’s about Renji isn’t it?” Rukia smiled at the stunned look on her brother’s face.

“How did you know?” Byakuya was totally unsure what to do. It was a situation he was unfamiliar with.

“I was coming back from the bath house when I saw you leading Renji to your quarters. It did not take a genius to figure out what was going to happen. Renji has wanted you for years.” Rukia was rather glad to get that bit of information off her chest. She had held almost no hope that her seemingly emotionless elder brother would ever reciprocate his vice-captain’s feelings. She’d had to hear Renji moaning about it for a while now. Especially when he was drunk.

“He has? You knew? But I thought you and Renji. I mean you were so close.” Byakuya shook his head as if in denial.

“Just because we are close does not mean I feel romantically inclined towards him. We are friends and I think of him as a brother. It’s obvious to me now that you have feelings for him too that are not platonic at all.” Rukia was thoroughly enjoying her unflappable brother’s confusion.

Ice crept back in Byakuya’s tone. “How do you know he was not just a convenient outlet?”

“If he was why are you out here sitting under this tree in a damp yukata? Also you still look exactly like you must have last night. Rumpled and adorably confused. If it did not matter to you at all you would have bathed, dressed and had a servant show Renji to the door. Yet he still sleeps in your bed while you sit here mulling over your future.” Rukia laid a hand over her brother’s.

“How did you get so wise? To be able to read me so clearly.” Resignation and defeat colored his tone. Once he was the terror of lesser shinigami. They feared and respected him. Now he was nothing more than a lovesick fool.

“Getting nearly killed will do that to a person. Plus I’ve seen the way you watch Renji when you think no one else is looking. Forget obligations and duty. Be selfish for once in your life. Tell me what do you truly want?” Rukia’s violet eyes bore into his as if daring him to lie to her.

After a long moment he spoke quietly. “I want him.”

Rukia’s smile lit her whole face. “Then go to him. If I know Renji he’ll wake alone and think you rejected him then flee to lick his wounds in private. After that you’ll play hell getting back in his good graces and you do not grovel well at all.” Impulsively she hugged Byakuya tightly.

Shocked at her gesture Byakuya sat stiffly for a moment before sagging into her arms and returning the hug. He kissed the top of her head and rested for a moment. Admitting to himself that this was actually kind of nice.

“Thank you Rukia.” He let go of her and stood up. Straightening his yukata he looked towards the house.

“Go to him. Also if you hurt him I’ll get Ichigo to break both your kneecaps.” She replied sweetly.

Byakuya gawked at her a moment and then strolled away with his head held high. Once out of her sight he took off in an undignified dash across the gardens. Raven hair whipping wildly around his face and robes hiked to his knees. One gardener looking upon this scene in shocked disbelief, at the Kuchiki heir acting so oddly, poured his bottle of sake on the ground. He swore to never drink on the job again if these were the hallucinations that occurred.

Out of breath Byakuya paused on the wide porch outside his door to try and compose himself. He smoothed his tangled mane and vainly tried to put to order his disheveled yukata. His hand was on the screen when it opened in front of him. There stood Renji looking every bit as mussed and quite surprised at meeting him.

“What do you think you are doing?” Byakuya’s frown was totally misinterpreted. Actually the black haired shinigami was terrified of this encounter.

“I…I’d better go. I wanted to be gone by the time you got back. I shouldn’t have come. It was a mistake.” Renji stammered and backed up. He intended to use the other door to leave since his captain was not budging.

“Stay.”

Confused Renji stopped backing away and stared. When nothing else was said he got upset.

“Stay? Here? What about your precious Kuchiki name? What about your family?” Arms crossed he sneered at Byakuya. He steeled himself for the rejection he knew would come. Why would Royalty want a mongrel like him?

“I don’t care.” Byakuya stepped closer and nervously Renji backed up until he was against the wall.

“WHAT?” The red head was seriously rattled. He nearly shrieked when Byakuya reached out and placed his hand on the side of Renji’s face in a tender caress.

“The only person whose opinion in this family that I hold in any regard at all has already given me her blessing. I’ll ask you again. Will you stay here with me?” Byakuya held his breath in anticipation. He hoped Renji would accept but why would someone so full of life and fire want to stay with a cold, unemotional shinigami such as himself?

“I’ll stay. I…I’ve wanted you for a long time. My precious Taichou.” Renji’s smirk and the finger trailed slowly down the open vee of his yukata made him shudder.

But more importantly seeing the hope and joy reflected in his vice-captain’s eyes convinced Byakuya he’d made the right decision.

The End!


End file.
